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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 2011
HELLA NERVOUS
posted by: Natasha
The other day I went to the doctor for my annual womanly visit and because I
don't have a gynecologist here, I just went to my PCP (like my mom). It was
the first time I've had my physical with a male doctor, and as much as others
said they wouldn't be able to do that, I felt like it really wasn't a big
deal at all.
I almost passed out, though. That's the last time I schedule a physical for
2:30 in the afternoon. It was about 18 hours since the last time I ate and
after having blood drawn and stressing out about the appointment I was having
to schedule, I told the nurse I wasn't feeling well as my vision was about to
disappear. Oh well, I calmed down, ate a banana and drove home.
The appointment I made was for Friday afternoon. I'm going to have the mole
on my chest removed. This was the second time a doctor has asked me about it
and said it needs to be removed, and I guess this time it's really happening.
I have really weird feelings about this, as if I'm going to miss that mole,
but we're being cautious here. Every time I think about the procedure, which
I'm told is simple with pretty much nothing to it, I get lightheaded. Hope
I'll make it through, bringing my mom(my). Wish me luck, you guys! (say
goodbye to my chest/boob mole :/! :(! )
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2011
I REALLY WITH I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING
posted by: Nina
Let's go back to the schedule I made two months ago:
1. Grade 16.07 psets: Check for 16.07, but right now I have a Unified
Fluids problem and a 16.50 Pset to grade.
2a. Finish grad school applications: Check and playing the waiting
game. Hey MIT, you still want me, right?
2b. Bug professors to submit the remaining recommendations: Check, but
I need to come up with some fashion of giving my thank yous.
3. Ping pong because I haven't played in months: Check. There was
plenty of ping pong over IAP.
4. Help Michael with his Hero's Engine: X No work done on this,
but that's all Michael's doing. (A hole saw doesn't take a month to ship)
5. Laundry: Check!
6. Tuesday: Home!: Check! and just a couple of days ago I purchased my
plane tickets home for spring break!
MIT says they will send decisions by March 1, which means I'll find out within
the month, but boy, even with only 28 days, February seems like the longest
month. I keep feeling like I'm not going to make it into any of the schools
that I applied to (especially since Michigan still claims it doesn't have my
transcript, even thought I sent two!), which would really be bad. I don't have
any job position lined up. I could probably connect my way into an internship
somewhere, but that doesn't really take me any further than the summer.
On another note, I haz a new camera. Sometimes I feel like I take better
photos with my point-and-shoot, but you can do so much more with a DSLR. I
wandered around campus a little bit snapping photos here and there - MIT's
campus is where the weird is so frequent it's normal - and if I remember, I've
been putting most of them here.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 23, 2011
HE JUST WASN'T THAT INTO ME
posted by: Natasha
I don't think I'm ready to write this yet, but I don't know when I'll ever be.
I honestly just can't stand the amount of optimism I had when writing the last
entry and every time I read it, it's a little punch in the face. Now I'm not
saying that I don't plan on or want these goals for myself within the year
anymore, but a little bit of motivation is lost. Actually, motivation to do
anything is lost.
For those of you that don't yet know, and as much as I'd usually keep this to
myself and off a rarely-updated, joint blog, I feel like me posting this will
bring me a little, the tiniest smidge, closer to acceptance. Lane and I are no
longer together. You have no idea how hard that was, just typing that, while
listening to Sufjan's most recent. I'm an idiot. I will openly tell you, all
of my three readers, this has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with or
overcome in my life. I am ridiculously grateful that I haven't had to mourn a
close relative or friend or that I haven't been in a life altering car accident,
but it doesn't make this hurt any less. I want to be the total badass that can
just get over this, face the facts, and be able to be friends again. I want to
disregard everything anyone tells me, but I have no concept of time. Everyday
lasts too long, time won't pass fast enough. I'm the kind of impatient person
that when I know exactly what I want, I will go for it, I will say it, I will
buy it. I would like to still be friends with Lane, but not more than being his
girlfriend. I thought I was an amazing girlfriend.
Now, I'll spare you the rest of the details, you (vague reader) can contact me
if you really need to know. But I'll leave you with this, I'm not angry. Lane
wanted me to be happier, and in the end, I'm not and no one wins.
FIVE, I took my MBP to the genius bar after waiting for 40 minutes by myself in
a store I really can't stand and the gentleman helping me couldn't recreate the
T-key half-popping off and told me there was nothing he could do that'd actually
be beneficial to me. Worst 40 minutes in a mall ever.
THREE, my depression and inability to eat has caused some unexpected weight loss.
I have friends that are watching out for me (thank you) and I'm not going to get
carried away with weight issues; I'm eating, I promise. But I'm finding myself
fitting into clothes that haven't been worn for a few years and my recently
purchased clothes already being too loose. Now I just want to be in a better
shape, to be fit. Some days there is more motivation than others, some days are
ups and downs, some days pass more quickly than others.
I feel uncomfortably vulnerable posting this, but I'm making the decision to do
it. I want to thank everyone that has been supportive and I want to apologize to
those that I haven't contacted. Please understand that you don't mean any less
of a friend to me, things are just not easy.
MONDAY, JANUARY 3, 2011
HAPPY NEW YEAR, FOLKS
posted by: Natasha
A new year, a new outlook. Not really, but I wish. I'm still working on the
resolutions I might want to work towards for this year. Here's what I have so
far. ONE, find a job that is more fulfilling and satisfying. TWO, move out
of my parent's house, this is really becoming unacceptable. THREE, actually
achieve my ultimate weight goal.
These three are all completely reasonable goals for the year, I just need to
be motivated to make them happen. My weight goal shouldn't be too difficult
to reach, especially after recent events in unintentionally losing a few pounds.
I feel like I need a motivational buddy, Nina? Help me out here and I'll help
you.
I've gone on a little shopping spree the past couple of days, but unfortunately
it was all online and now I am anxiously waiting on the arrival of my items.
One of the things is the HTC Evo. I'm a little worried about the size of the
phone but I didn't really like the other phones Sprint had to offer. The new
jeans I have don't even fit my current phone in the pockets! Is this
frustration about large cellphones or tiny girl pants pockets? I also impulse
purchased some more clothes. FOUR, dress better, stop being the lazy slob I am
and feel like. Honestly, dressing better, actually putting some effort into
getting dressed in the morning usually makes me feel better anyway.
Well, go me. I have four resolutions that I'm pretty sure were the same ones
I had last year and just never accomplished. We all have to start somewhere,
at least I'm still thinking about these improvements.
FIVE, get this T-key (tiki) fixed on my MBP.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2010
I'M DONE AND STILL NOT DEAD
posted by: Nina
Classes are over for the semester! Except for the whole psets need to be
graded and grades need to be submitted. No finals next week, just the one
take-home test that I turned in today for Drela, which I'm pretty sure I bombed
(bullshit math). Right now I'm just glad to have one of the most stressful
stretches behind me.
So now my short-term schedule looks like this:
1. Grade 16.07 psets
2a. Finish grad school applications
2b. Bug Professors to submit the remaining recommendations
3. Ping pong because I haven't played in months
4. Help Michael with his Hero's Engine
5. Laundry
6. Tuesday: HOME!
Hmm. I still have a lot to do.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2010
NOT DEAD YET
posted by: Nina
If you're wondering where I am, chances are I'm in lab, in my commandeered
office downstairs in the Building 33 basement (even though I'm not there
right now!). Natasha's on a Mac, and I've recently tried converting to
Ubuntu. I'm getting stubborn by not wanting to use gedit (an editor that's
an awful lot like Notepad in Windows) because I want to be hardcore and
do everything hardcore. Because of that, my editor looks like this. There are a lot of keyboard shortcuts
that I don't understand, but apparently it's awesome for coding.
Speaking of awesome things for coding and such, I just got a new monitor, and
it is HUMONGOUS (25"). I finally became one of the people who no longer had
a monitor not with a 4:3 screen aspect ratio. I'm dual-monitoring, but because
of its shear size, its effectively like three monitors.
Thanksgiving is in two days and my week has finally lessened up a little bit
load-wise. I still have an entire pset to grade tonight, and our wind tunnel
model for 82x was due about a week ago (I'm going to work on it over the
break...), but this weekend was crap. I still need to get my statement of
objective, CV, schools, labs and deadlines out to professors for letters of
recommendation too. I just want a break.
Crap, what is the command for saving?
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2010
BLACK FRIDAY
posted by: Natasha
I'm okay about Christmas now, just wrapped the first presents.
I open black friday and I'm scheduled for 3.45 AM. SRSLY.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2010
EXPLETIVES
posted by: Natasha
Hi everyone, I haven't died yet. I started writing a post a month ago to the
date (and almost hour) after spending a lot of time figuring out how to even
update this text on my MacBook Pro, but that text is lost. It covered something
about being in Austin, Texas at the time for Austin City Limits and how my trip
to San Diego went. Both of those went well, by the way and now I'm back to the
daily work grind.
[deleted]
I want to say (cuss) Christmas, I'm done buying presents. There is way
too much stress about something so unnecessary. Here is a wad of cash, go buy your
own presents. It's not worth my time anymore. I'm bitter. Maybe I'll just buy
things for myself instead (or pay off all these (cuss) bills) like these ridiculous
things I want but don't need! THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS!
Someone help me.
EDIT: I just bought those shoes on Amazon for 25% off. Sweet.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2010
NATASHA, I'M BEATING YOU WITH THESE UPDATES
posted by: Nina
I've been working on multiple projects (two as classes) and other shtuff,
that I haven't really had time to do anything else. I'm always in some
meeting, working down in my "office" in the basement lab (or in the machine
shop on a weekend...), and rarely in my own dorm room to sleep. I told one of
my Brookline uncles about it and I think he seriously became concerned for
my social life. He told me that I need to party! to which I responded with,
"then I wouldn't sleep!"
It's weird, but I think that since the summer I have gradually been leaning
more toward going to grad school than working in industry. Right now, with all
the companies seeming to not even bother with interviewing me (yes you,
Lockheed), I'm wondering if I should start looking only at grad school, and
not bother stressing about also applying for jobs. Too bad I'm also still
having a hard time imagining me as a grad student. WHAT DO I DO?
MONDAY, OCTOBER 04, 2010
IT HAS BEEN OVER A MONTH [2]
posted by: Nina
It's almost 4 in the morning because I've been working on a research topic
proposal for my HASS class that was actually due last Thursday. I just looked
at the other students' submissions for this assignment and except for one
person, no one came close to the length posted in the syllabus, nor was
there any type of formality in the essays... and I used up my one extension
for the semester because I was busy helping Drela with his plane and spiffy
display stand (yeah I'm still working on that). What a waste of an
extension.
This semester is/will be hella busy, but I purchased my plane ticket home for
XMAS today. Hurray to having zero finals!
But oh right. Grad school and jobs.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 28, 2010
IT HAS BEEN OVER A MONTH
posted by: Nina
I came back to Boston two weeks ago, after going back home for two weeks.
Whenever anyone asked me how Dallas was, I responded with "hot," and
mentioned the triple-digit temperatures EVERY DAY (which was awful for
playing tennis). Home was fun, and it was nice to see people, especially
the babies who are talking a lot more! :D
I have three projects going on at once right now and they all seem to be
requiring a lot of me:
1) UROP with modular, ducted, diffuser-augmented wind turbines - We're
about 85% finished with building the [giant] model that we plan on putting
in the big wind tunnel on Thursday [to get a crapload of blockage and
not the most accurate data].
2) 62x project that technically wasn't supposed to happen over the summer
break, but we've already calibrated our five-hole probe and built just
about all of the setup. Next week we'll set it all up in a smaller wind
tunnel. We're apparently supposed check flow periodicity before classes
start (but it's not going to happen).
3) Help build a 1:20 model of Drela's
D8.1 plane.
This past week has been spent mostly in the foamcutting room (getting
high on the melted foam fumes) until late hours of the day cutting out the
incredibly long and thin wings (I calculated an AR of 15.5). BUT today I
got to do one of the most epic layups ever with Drela, putting on four
layers of fiberglass on the fuselage. There was a lot of my paint roller
popping off of the plastic handle, a lot of strands of my hair being shed
and appearing on the layup ("You don't work in the food industry, do
you?") - obviously not his hair - and not a lot of conversation, but
it was still awesome.
MONDAY, JULY 19, 2010
STRANGE OVERTONES
posted by: Nina
One of those songs you could listen to over and over again.
That is, until you have to fly home! (two weeks)
MONDAY, JULY 12, 2010
HEAT HEADACHE
posted by: Natasha
So I've been decently good at my latest attempts to lose some weight/get healthier/more active. For the past three weeks, I've devoted some time to utilizing the elliptical machine we have in our living room, following the weird tae-bo cardio video I downloaded when I was in college, trying to play tennis until I can't see the ball with the setting sun, and now attempting to run outside on a track at the hottest time of the day. It's a little rough, but I'm working on improving my endurance slowly.
I've also been trying to eat a little better by cutting out all those snacks (or bad unnecessary snacks), liquid calories, and late night eating. I'm also trying to change my food portioning, limiting my meat consumption, and (kind of) watching my calorie intake.
Oh, I forgot to mention that my work is doing a Biggest Loser contest. There is a monetary reward involved. I'm not doing this to win the contest, but if I were to win, that'd be a super plus (I don't think I will win). Three weeks have gone by and I've lost almost 6 pounds. I think that's pretty reasonable, and I'm impressed that I've kept up with all of this for three weeks straight. (Go me!) Let's see if I can keep it up for five more weeks and possibly beat everyone!
That money can go to my potentially new computer. I'll keep you posted on that.
SUNDAY, JUNE 27, 2010
BICYCLE
posted by: Nina
I've been wanting a road bike a lot lately and almost always kept an eye on the
Craigslist postings. I finally gave in today and got this red Miyata (it's probably
as old as Natasha). It's a pretty sweet ride.
It's much better than the old Magna I was
riding (and much greater in price). Except that it doesn't have a kickstand. Extra weight,
I guess. You can see the fixies/singled speeds/track bikes/whatever of a girl who
lives down the hall in the background. She also had shelves and shelves of
brightly colored shoes. Whatever floats her boat.
My UROP is finally kicking in to gear, except that we still haven't actually ordered any
materials. We will start building things next week. Here's a list of jobs that
I remember one of the company representatives mentioning having:
o architect
o fashion designer
o something with video compression (but he can't code?)
o engineer for wind energy company (current)
I don't get it. The other company rep has degrees in civil engineering and business.
I get that.
MONDAY, JUNE 21, 2010
ROUGH
posted by: Natasha
Things have been really rough for me lately and I'm not making things easier and it's not looking like it's going to get better. What do you do when you feel like a failure?
HEY YOU GUYS, I'M DEBBIE DOWNER!
MONDAY, JUNE 7, 2010
TWENTY-FIVE
posted by: Natasha
I spent my birthday weekend in Austin. It had its high moments (kayaking) and low moments (video game talk), but overall it was really good. Something I really needed. And now I'm not so sure I want to be twenty-five; I'm going through ups-and-downs with my feelings on being this old and at this stage in my life. Frustrating. Sometimes I'm not sure how to be happy. How do we forget these things?
TUESDAY, JUNE 01, 2010
ERROR 404: TITLE NOT FOUND
posted by: Nina
You know you have been down in lab too much if (incomplete list):
o Almost all of your stories to tell involve the lab technicians (it's either a
Dave story or some reference to Arrested Development - pick one)
o You think you're smelling CA everywhere you go (is this normal?)
o You think it thunderstormed earlier today, but are not entirely sure
because you were not near a window all day
o You are still going to lab even though the semester is over and summer is here
My Brookline relatives, Darmofal, and just about everyone else has been asking me
when my UROP with Widnall would start, and I've been responding with an, "I'm not
entirely sure." I think Widnall was out of town last week. There is finally a
meeting tomorrow with some company representatives, so I guess tomorrow is the
official date. I actually did a Google search on the company, and apparently there
are only two people, so I might be seeing the entire company tomorrow!
It's going to be interesting going to Friday's commencement and not actually be a
graduating student - ironically I gained an office this way. I probably won't
bother sitting through all of it - it's over 1000 students - but there's going to
be an Aero ice cream social afterward. And a cash bar, so I hear. I hope it
doesn't actually rain.
Back to the Arrested Development marathon. Or flight simulator. Guess.
SUNDAY, MAY 30, 2010
COUNTDOWN
posted by: Natasha
I am starting my birthday countdown now. Week from today, so really six days. Six days until my birthday. Five days until canoeing. Four days until being in Austin, Tx. Four days until pay day. Four days until fun! Delicious food, too!
MONDAY, MAY 24, 2010
COOPERATION
posted by: Natasha
Dear Body,
If I start treating you better, could you please possibly cooperate with me and get a little bit smaller? It's a two-way relationship, so I'm not being outrageous here.
Thanks,
Natasha
MONDAY, MAY 24, 2010
UGH UGH UGH
posted by: Nina
Why did I not know that David Byrne came to MIT?
http://www.davidbyrne.com/tours/index.php
Ugh! BTW, I still regret not seeing him in concert last summer. STILL.
SUNDAY, MAY 23, 2010
INCOMPLETE
posted by: Natasha
This site is being posted as is because I am unreasonably impatient. Links page does not exist.
Agnes just sent me an email (to which I have not yet responded) and she has a way of always making me feel really good when I'm down in the dumps.
"... I hope you're feeling better. I don't know the dates you're posting on, but the last few entries seem taken out of Alice's Diary. Grad school seems like a great option, everybody is telling me to go back to school (I think I will too, but I need to figure out what type). You have a brilliant creativity and personality that I envy--these are things, impossible to learn in school, that will be with you your entire life. They're just dormant until you figure out how to best use it. Life isn't over at 25."
I may not believe you in thinking I'm brilliant, but thank you, Agnes. There are so many things I admire and envy about you, but I won't get into that here.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 20, 2010
I SAW A SQUIRREL CLIMBING THE STAIRS OF BUILDING 33
posted by: Nina
Shortly before I had my 16.90 oral final exam, I was talking to my 16.50 TA, and he kept telling me not to fret. He thought the oral exams were helpful in the way that they prepared him for other presentations, in the way that for the oral exams, we have to present in front of the professors at the hardest school in the world, who are all the best in their fields. There's nothing more embarrassing.
Thanks for the encouragement, Eric.
SUNDAY, MAY 16, 2010
PARENTHESIS
posted by: Natasha
I had a long debate with myself (five minutes) and input from several people (Lane and Nina) about whether I should pay the annoying annual fee (twenty five dollars) to keep this web domain. About a month ago I made the decision to shut it down and use a free online journal (tumblr) (to add to my many others over the years) but found it so unsatisfying (I needed room to customize by my own means).
To make this more interesting (or hopefully add some variation), Nina and I are going to both write here in making this a collaborative effort. Though sometimes I feel like Nina and I are the same person (practically, but Nina slightly better at everything), we still have different interests and writing styles at least. This will be fun, right?
Summer temperatures are here and I think it is time for some summer goals (that I won't achieve).
1. Get in water at least 3 times (I bought a swim suit last year, I should use it)
2. Get on a bike (yes, I still don't know how to ride)
3. Improve those tennis skills (what skills?)
4. Eat crepes for my birthday
5. Like myself again
6. Do all of the above and not get sunburned
Let the mosquito bites begin. (F)
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WHO WE ARE
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Natasha
Nina
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