06052007 / FINISH THE THINGS YOU STARTDid anyone notice that the last entry was written a year from now? Crazy! Like Eman, I want a site make-over. Complete with an actual make-over and haircut. Hi, I'm girl.
Besides not really knowing what I plan to do for the birthday, there is absolutely nothing happening.
Oh wait, Wells Fargo informed me that I won a $150 Visa gift card yesterday. PRETTY. SWEET. DEAL.
I will finish the book I'm reading tonight.
I will finish learning to drive this summer.
I will finish (something vague).
05292008 / FRIEDCan anyone tell me why I suddenly started to smell fries? Good ol' french fries!
So, little sister Nina graduated high school. It was the longest of my five graduations I attended this year. I really think Grand Prairie should start building that third high school they've been talking about for years. Each freshman class starts in over a thousand kids. The graduations become too long and everyone becomes much too restless.
Afterwards, the family crashed one of Nina's friends party. Then the 'rents and I headed to the Sprint store where I got a
new cellphone and new provider. Goodbye Cingular, you have better service and better phones. I like my phone and all but it's kind of a bitch to transfer files and get mp3's to play as ringtones. Small Sony Ericsson, I'll miss you.
Today, baby John came over and my mom babysat for a while since the rest of us took a trip to the new SuperTarget. It is literally down the street from my house. When I get a chance, I'll get some pictures of the little halfie nephew up here. Until then, it'll be a mystery!
05223007 / CLEAN(As posted elsewhere) due to space limitations, the cardboard foil robot starring in the fearsome foursome film
Could Be Worse that has been kept in my closet since two thousand four is going to be thrown away. If anyone would like to claim this robot, please speak now.
Cleaning a room with things that are not all yours is tough. Realizing that you own too many pairs of shoes and none of them are clean is tough too.
05202007 / BACK TO OLD HOUSEToday was a busy day full of sweaty box moving from the apartment to the truck, to Grand Prairie, to the garage, to the truck, to Dallas, to the apartment, to the car, to Grand Prairie, to the garage. Box may include mattress, boxspring and television. Hot sweaty day of moving with just a few hours of sleep.
So, for this past week, there were four parties, four graduations, one really good day and one last trip downtown. Our party was a blast for me, given I was a little tipsy on my sad sad two drink limit. I am a high-fiving drunk apparently, this discovered twice during this past week. I was asked if my hair was real by someone at another party, denied a high-five at another, and fell asleep on the couch at another.
Congratulations all you 2007 graduates. I attended four different graduations and participated in one of them and imagining what it could be like if we all graduated at once. If I ever did wonder, now I know. I had my fun, hope you all had yours. I hope to see you all soon in Austin.
The really good day was filled with Andrew F and I running all about campus. My favorite part was when we played 'how far can your tapioca pearl go' at the Harry Ransom Center benches. I wanted to be all sentimental because that is what I do sometimes.
Downtown was downtown, 'cept this time there were a million people in our group.
Now is the start of the summer madness, let's get started!
05112007 / OH IT'S FINALI have two finals tomorrow and I really just them to be over now, but it won't be until approximately ten o'clock pm when I will be finished. finished for the semester! My level of preparation for these right now is not at all as is my level of worry even though I need decent grades in these classes. Come on, Natasha, you can make better grades!
Also, we are having a party tomorrow. If in Austin, give me a call!
05062007 / SOUP'D UPI would just like to say that I don't mind serving you library patrons and when you ask me to bend the rules and you're nice about it, I'll do it. But when you give me attitude about it and I don't think it is fair, then no, I'm not going to take it. And when you just start shitting out racial and discriminatory things that you think are funny, I'm not going to take it. It just makes me want to fucking punch you in the face. And as much as I'm trying to find you what you need, you could just appreciate that I'm trying to help you and not tell you to go away because you're really just that mean and I'm insulted that you're talking to me.
So what.
BABY. There is a new baby in the family and I am officially a new aunt.
05012007 / IN THE DARKDear Ultimate Week,
I wish that you would not be so hard on everyone, but I suppose it is to be expected, what with being the ultimate week and all. Please be over soon so I can breathe and sleep and these blemishes can disappear.
Yours truly,
Natasha Siu
P.S. Penultimate week was better.
04292007 / BURNING BRIDGESDon't set me on that path. It's not something I want to do, even though I can't pinpoint what's holding me back. Soon, there will be that line that's crossed and there's no turning back. That intangible string keeping me connected will be cut, the bridges between will be burned.
There's only so much a person can handle. I didn't agree to this.
All of this really only increases my ambition for improvement.
Goal of the future of the day: Believe in what you believe.
04252007 / ALL THINGS ORDINARYSometimes I wish I could still be living at the turn of the century. Back when it was
We have the facts on rotation. Back when the Anniversary was still together. Back when I felt at home with the people I knew. I don't know how in the world I'm going to improve if I just keep backsliding.
I think I've grown since then, and I can feel it, but I'm in a half-assed stage, not quite there to the finish line of improvement. I'll admit it, most of everything that bothers me is because I'm just that easily annoyed. So all my problems will be resolved sooner or later when they physically disappear or I realize how to finally extinguish them.
Goal of the future of the day: Become coherent.
04232007 / I'M (NOT SO) OKAY WITH MY DECAYI know I say it all the time, and I've already said it at least once this year, but this summer, I will improve myself. It will be a productive summer, maybe not in the engineering future, but in the life of Natasha. Natasha (also Nina because I am dragging her along before she moves away to Boston) will be reinvented, new and improved, ready to take on the world. This time, I'm serious, more serious than I've ever been before.
04212007 / SO IT GOESI'm not quite sure how it happened, why it happened, or exactly when it happened, but I know I did it to myself. Maybe it's a defense mechanism. With only a month left here in Austin with nearly everyone I know, I become entirely reclusive, hide myself behind books, headphones, and closed doors. When I come back to Austin, nothing will be the same. And I'd like to think that I'm just preparing myself for that, but why?
Part of me feels like it's dying.
I'm such a fucking downer these days.
04092007 / STOMACHI think my stomach is telling me that it doesn't like me. It doesn't approve of my eating habits and my lifestyle. It's telling me that I need to study more and make better grades. It's telling me that sometime, someday, I'm going to have to decide what I'm doing. What I'm doing tonight, what I'm doing tomorrow, what I'm doing next year.
It's telling me that I'm failing at most of what I do. That I'm passionless and what I thought was true is now false. It's telling me that there won't be a point in time that my parents will be proud of me like I thought they'd be.
It's telling me that I'm a mess, an unshowered emotional mess at times. I don't know how to be anything otherwise.
All this because I had cheese.
04042007 / PANCAKESA few picture additions.
I downloaded an album by the Mathematicians and it is kind of funny. My favorite so far is LCD. (lowest common denominator) You should look into it.
04032007 / THREE THIRTYAll-nighter attempt two. One wasn't a full all-nighter and I already doubt two will be. But my attempts should still be counted. Old Natasha would say fuck it, I'm sleeping. New Natasha says, let's give it a try first, then fuck it, I'm sleeping.
In a sense, my 'delayed giving up' motto is becoming my lifestyle. So far, it's not really working any better than before.
03302007 / FOUR THIRTYI am attempting to pull an all-nighter (if necessary) and I have NEVER pulled one. In all my years of schooling, I've always just gone to sleep. I love sleep that much.
This is all my fault for deciding to see Xiu Xiu the night before a test and not getting home to study until two-thirty or so. I'm glad I went though. No valley OH, but that's okay.
Natasha, ACE THIS TEST. (stop playing on the internet.)
03272007 / AKK is for Kenny!
Today was hard and I didn't even have my tests yet. Money seems to constantly reappear as the cause of all my problems. Now is the start of them for what will seem to be a very rough year. I am in no way ready for all the changes.
03252007 / ALCOHOLI'm okay with riding the buses everywhere, I mean, I really have no choice. I'm okay with the different kinds of people I see going from Riverside to downtown to school to North Campus. I'm okay with the buses being late because I'm usually early for things and plan on them being late. I'm less okay with the drunk people on the bus at three in the afternoon trying to give alcohol to the obnoxious children of the bus driver. Profane kids yelling at people all over the bus, people laughing at the drunken falling man that would not get off the bus when asked so an attempt at calling the police was made, and people getting terribly annoyed at how they'd be late for work was all I could tell behind the book and earphones I had. Finally, the drunken man got off the bus, and I say man, but he couldn't have been much older than me if at all, but as we pull away from the curb, I think he fell again and the bus almost hit him. I really cannot stand bus drama, I really should be driving around with a license and a vehicle.
Last night we went downtown and once again, I think that maybe I should not drink alcohol. Maybe I got a little tipsy and going up the stairs to my apartment was a little more challenging than normal, but overall, I don't think my body likes alcohol and I don't think it does me any good. That and being red like a tomato only has a plus side of making my legs look tan, otherwise I'm just sunburned. But I appreciate the drinks I didn't buy and enjoyed being able to dance a fool by myself. Oh, and I love how my dance of Vegas has been brought back to the clubs of Austin. Thanks guys.
03222007 / LETTERSAs I was getting back to reading my borrowed book
Franny and Zooey, one of the million books that I started and never finished in the past few years, and I read the letter that was supposedly the kind you keep in your pocket for years, I was reminded of one letter received. Not kept in my hip pocket but a filing cabinet at my parent's house, I do remember reading it over and over to the point of it becoming fragile. My only thoughts were to read it again even if all meaning is lost, but I can't. A little part of me wants that bit of history.
03212007 / AMAZINGMy little sister, as if no one has heard enough, is something. She said to me earlier today that had she not found out about her acceptance to MIT through the website on Saturday, she probably would have had a heart attack today when she opened her envelope of acceptance. Reading all about the financial details was the deciding moment. Comparing with the full cost of tuition and room and board, she is to pay next to nothing. CONGRATULATIONS NINA, you're about to live a part of your dream. If only everyone could get just a piece of what you're feeling now.
Websites can be recycled.
03182007 / DRY SKINBack from the road trip to Vegas with an ugly cough and no new money in hand. But other than that, it was a spring break well spent. I learned a little here and there and definitely didn't mind feeling like one of the guys. We had our times of throat clearing contests and not so exciting roller coasters. All in all, it was one really long day in the car and I am glad that we are in a city that has water fountains everywhere. Don't take those for granted. Being in a desert where everything costs twice as much as it should, like bottled water, it's hard to walk around a hot city without getting dehydrated.
Everything seems to be a blur, we'll see what happened in Vegas once people give me the pictures that were taken. All I really remember is eating at buffets and the near naked people in the Cirque du Soleil show we saw. And Vegas is a really gaudy city.
